The book’s out and I’d forgotten what it’s like…

I don’t mean the plot – though God knows I started writing it so long ago and it went through so many edits, that is hazy enough, but all the other stuff surrounding a new book hitting the (virtual) shelves. (The paperback for those who like a real book – yes me too – is out in September.)

What I’d forgotten is  the obsessive checking of the amazon ratings and the looking through one’s fingers at the latest reviews (not to mention the video of one looking rather raddled and wittering on about the squeezed generation that one’s publisher put out on launch day – it was the morning after one of those nights before). The small jump of elation when some kind soul has doled out five stars, and the resigned sigh when it is slated for having a strand about dementia – apparently entirely inappropriately for a book billed as “hilarious”. (I don’t think anyone was referring to that particular storyline.)

I’d forgotten the thrill of someone taking the trouble to write to say they liked it. (And the quiet pleasure of making a small plasticine model of those who didn’t and popping it in my pin drawer 🙂 ho ho.)  And the anticipation of planning the launch party for the paperback (watch this space). And the worry over which crash diet I am going to have to undertake in order to fit into something vaguely presentable for same (usually when I have a book out I put ON weight – it is the constant excuse to hit the fizz and open a celebratory bag of crisps – not a great look for someone who’s also written a weight loss book!).

I’d forgotten the quips. It used to be: have you sold as many as JK Rowling/50 Shades of Grey yet?  Now it’s have you made a million and  will it be made into a series on Netflix.

And the four a.m. horror of remembering who you forgot in the acknowledgements.

And which detail you included that makes it blindingly obvious to all the locals EXACTLY who you were basing THAT character on…

But mostly I’d forgotten how utterly delightful it is to have a book published and how one gets a little rush of joy every time one sees the cover.

You can hear me talking about it here, courtesy of the great Peter James…

or here thanks to my lovely publishers at Harper Collins…

If you have downloaded it – I know a few of the followers here have – then thank you SO much. If not – it’s only 99p – a bloody bargain if I might make so bold  – and I would absolutely love to hear what you think. You can be honest! I wouldn’t want anything less jxxx

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Didn’t I have a lov-er-ly time…

Another to add to my list of fab festivals I have worked for. Had a great time at the Buckingham Literary Festival last weekend, interviewing three top bestsellers. First up on Friday night a packed audience were enthralled by the mega-successful crime king Peter James with whom I always have a laugh; and then the next morning  I “did” the wonderful  Clare Mackintosh and Louise Doughty –  who both went down a storm. I also had the pleasure of meeting Sir Anthony Seldon – what an inspirational chap he is. I loved Buckingham – never been before and it is the most gorgeous place. One for the calendar next year…

   

 

Colin Dexter – it was great to meet you too

IMG_0937Time to say goodbye to another luminary of the book world and to fondly recall the day in 2009 when I met Colin Dexter at the Winchester Writers’ Conference. It was late morning, he had just finished speaking, and was suitably dismayed to learn that the bar was closed. “Can’t we go to the pub?” he asked Beryl Bainbridge. I have no idea what I was doing standing there – I was gobbier in those days, I’d probably pushed my way to the front to announce my addiction to Morse and enduring crush on John Thaw – but I was able to share with  both these great writers, the  intelligence I’d gathered the night before when in a similar fix.   You could buy wine direct from the kitchen staff. I led the famous author to the chap who’d done the deal the previous evening, he purchased a bottle of red (it could have been two) which he  generously invited me to share. I was speaking later myself, so God knows how that went, but I do recall a most entertaining lunch with the pair of them, feeling  privileged indeed. “It was a delight to be with you,” Mr Dexter wrote in my Inspector Morse Omnibus, causing someone to joke that if I fell on hard times I could take the inscription to the News of the World. He laughed. I have treasured the tome ever since. I was pretty delighted too.

New Year’s Resolutions for Writers…

By way of an intro I must tell you that I found these on my computer while looking for something else. They were written for a column in 2007! And the shameful thing is, they are just as pressing – with minor updates (see notes in italics) – now, as they were then.  Proving that Old Writers Never Learn – they just get bigger arses…. (or something!).

Whatever you resolve, I hope it comes to pass. Happy New Year!

New Year’s Resolutions for Writers

1. Writers’ Bottom

I will finally face the fact that Writing does not use up 500 calories an hour and that food eaten at the desk does count – particularly when it is two packets of Kettle chips dipped in houmous, a bar of chocolate and half a bottle of white wine. The excursion from computer to sofa to watch EastEnders does not constitute  exercise. Writers Bottom is not a hereditary condition but caused by sitting on it for eight hours a day while cramming junk food. (Now of course I am the proud author of a tome designed to consign one’s writer’s derriere to a thing of the past. If you wanted to help my new year go with a bang you could always buy it :-))

2. Alcohol

I will remember that actually alcohol does not enhance creativity and that there is no point in writing down the brilliant idea I had for chapter seventeen when I  was three sheets to the wind. Even if I can  decipher it, it will still be drivel in the morning.

3. Tolerance

I will not scream: YOU JUST HAVE  when family members walk into my  writing room, saying “I won’t interrupt you but….”

Nor throw things at their heads when they answer: “But you were only looking out of the window… “

4. Deadlines

I will remind myself that the sensible, grown-up way to handle a deadline is write 2000 words a day, Monday to Friday,  with Sunday off to allow for bracing walks and cooking the family roast. I will no longer spend five months and three weeks emailing and going out to lunch and then book into a hotel for seven days and stay up all night swearing.

5. Bookshops

I will go into bookshops to buy books. I will  stop rearranging the bookshelves by moving myself from W (down in the corner at ankle level where the cobwebs lurk) to A  where everyone can see me (especially if I put all copies face out over the top of Jeffrey Archer).

Alternatively I will change my name to Arkwright.

6. Jealousy

I will stop grinding my teeth over the Bestseller lists and be totally thrilled when someone who has never written a word in their entire life gets a six-figure sum and half a million quid’s worth of film rights for their memoir on eating slugs in the jungle or having a breast enhancement operation, live on Big Brother. After all, there’s room for all of us…

7. Humour.  I will smile widely when the 4, 752nd person says: Ha, ha, ha – have you sold as many as 50 Shades of Grey yet? (of course when  I first wrote this, it was J K Rowling. Doesn’t make it any better!)

8. Patience.

Even when that person says it every time I meet him.

9. Perseverance

I will try and keep to these longer than I did last year (January 17th)

10. Honesty.

I will tell the truth. (It was Jan 4th)

The Wannabe a Writer TV Show

Here at last….

Am all very thrilled – and not a little nervously twitchy 🙂 – to announce the launch of the first half of the pilot episode of Wannabe a Writer? The TV Show, a joint project between me and my mate Stephen Arkell of Retina Productions , in which we bring an exciting new concept in Writer-centred TV to your screens…

WATCH it HERE, Read all about it HERE and then do comment – I would love to know what you think…

jxx

The Ab Fab ChipLitFest :-)

Well what a lov-er-ley time I had at this year’s Chipping Norton Literary Festival – a treat indeed. You would never believe the festival is only in its second year from its big-name line up and terrific organisation but it is and I’ve been lucky enough to be there for both of them. This time I had the enormous pleasure and privilege of being “in conversation with”  the super-best-selling Peter James on Saturday, who talked about his forthcoming Dead Man’s Time  (I got to read a review copy – bloody brilliant!)  fascinated us all with his police tales and amused greatly with his unique revenge tactics on Martin Amis (ha ha!). Peter is a dream to interview!

Jane and Peter Chip Lit 2013 small

(Thanks Liz Fenwick for the photo of us at the Crown and Cushion!)

As is the gorgeous and delightful Fern Britton. I met her for about a minute before we started our event around her latest entertaining novel The Holiday Home but she was as warm and relaxed as if we were old friends. What a totally lovely, natural and generous lady. The audience adored her and so did I. She had some hilarious stories too… (Was Chipping Norton ready for the word c*ck?  Certainly seemed to be…. :-)) We all laughed lots.

Fern and Jane

Thanks Jan Harvey for taking this one

So put next year’s dates in your diary now. Chipping Norton Lit Fest 2014 runs from 24th – 27th April and I’m excited already….

Guildford Day Two

The end of the second day of Guildford Book Festival and tonight was Peter James and Ann Cleeves. Fab interviewees both – and both with great news to share. Ann has been inducted into the Crime Writers Association Hall of Fame (I’m not entirely sure what this involves but I am deeply impressed) and Peter has knocked Fifty Shades off the top of the Bestsellers List. Respect!  Peter is,  of course, extremely shy and retiring (ho de ho) but I managed to coax a few anecdotes out of him. I’d never met Ann before but thought she was really lovely – how could she not be having created DI Vera Stanhope (a new series being filmed right now folks! If you love Brenda Blethyn – I do – don’t miss it). And that’s all I can muster right now cos it’s been a long day and tomorrow I’m off to HMP Send (not permanently).

But lots more to come at Guildford – On Monday I interview Judy Finnigan, Kay Burley and Jenny Eclair. Tuesday brings David Nobbs  – hilarious creator of Reggie Perrin. Do roll up if you possibly can.
xx till then

PS yes I did learn where I’ve been going wrong on the Victoria Sponge front with lovely Rachel Allen and Jim N was most entertaining…

PPS Photo courtesy of Morgen (thanks Love!!! :-))

Greetings from (not-so) sunny Swanwick…

Actually it has been sunny but just happens to be p***ing down as I type.

I am here at the long-running Swanwick Writers’ Summer School in Derbyshire where I am teaching  “Truth is stranger than…” which, as the  astute among you will infer, is a four-part course on writing non-fiction. No-one has walked out or fallen asleep yet. (The week, as they say, is still young).

In the meantime, I have another freebie for you. Perfect Alibis – my second novel which landed me on daytime TV and various you-will-burn-in-hell type Biblical tracts on my doormat – is available for nowt until Saturday. Download onto your kindle, or (with free Kindle app from Amazon) your ipad, PC or Mac… and please  tell all your friends.

Click on the cover, or these links to go to the Amazon.co.uk or Amazon.com stores…

More when I return to what I hope WILL be sunny Broadstairs. Back Friday in time to catch the last night of Folk Week.

Mine’s not a pint but I might manage half a strawberry cider from The Chapel. Further details of that little gem another time…

your free gift today

Is a copy – totally gratis – of my third novel ONE GLASS IS NEVER ENOUGH (and it often wasn’t, when I was writing it…)

If you’ve got a kindle (and if you haven’t you can download a free kindle app from amazon don’t you know) it is yours at the mere click of a mouse… HERE (.CO.UK) or HERE (.COM)

It would make me very pleased with you indeed if you’d download it.

Thank you – have a lovely Sunday xxx

PS and it would make me downright adore you if you could tell your friends… (all about charts/ratings etc and blah. I just do as I’m told…)

Trying to travel light to Penrith

Off to the fabulous RNA conference – or at least I hope it will be fab – I hadn’t realised quite how far Penrith was from Broadstairs when arrangements were made. And I’m used to driving to these gigs!

Suddenly all the essentials – see pic – this is student accommodation – has got to fit in one small case with my laptop. It weighs a bloody tonne.

But am on the train as I write and hugely looking forward to chairing a panel with the lovely Annie Ashhurst, Judy Astley and Freda Lightfoot tomorrow and the sound of my own voice (always a pleasure :-)) when I give a talk on Sunday.

If you’re coming, see you there. It WILL be fab. It always is.

*** Click here for the blog tour details of my latest novel Prime Time ***

You can sign up to receive these blog posts by clicking on the ‘Follow’ button… also follow me on Twitter (Jane Wenham-Jones), Twitter (Wannabe a Writer), friend me on Facebook, connect with me on LinkedIn. I’m also on Goodreads, Greatvine, Love Reading, and have two other websites http://www.janewenham-jones.com and http://wannabeawriter.darkskipper.com. My books are available from Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.com, Amazon.de, and Amazon.it. Other sites I’m involved in are listed here.

Loose Muse

No, I am not trying to summon the dead, lead the gospel singing or appeal to the Almighty*. This is me attempting to impart some words of wisdom to those gathered at the Poetry Cafe in Covent Garden yesterday evening.

I was there at the invitation of Agnes Meadows who is the power behind Loose Muse – a monthly gathering of women poets and writers (tho’ I did spot a chap or two) – and apart from getting drenched on the way, a very nice time I had too.

Thank you to Joolz for wielding the camera. Yes, I’m afraid I do always wave my arms about…

PS * or, looking at the first pic again, tell the story of my breast enhancements… 🙂

Further details of these events at www.loose-muse.com and http://www.poetrysociety.org.uk/content/cafe.

     

*** Click here for the blog tour details of my latest novel Prime Time ***

You can sign up to receive these blog posts by clicking on the ‘Follow’ button… also follow me on Twitter (Jane Wenham-Jones), Twitter (Wannabe a Writer), friend me on Facebook, connect with me on LinkedIn. I’m also on Goodreads, Greatvine, Love Reading, and have two other websites http://www.janewenham-jones.com and http://wannabeawriter.darkskipper.com. My books are available from Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.com, Amazon.de, and Amazon.it. Other sites I’m involved in are listed here.

Fifty Shades of Wot?

The only way I’m gonna get any sales….. ho ho

Thank you to Neil, Gabriel, Donna et al at Thanet Waterstones where I had a most entertaining signing on Saturday. And even bigger thanks to those who came in and bought Prime Time instead of Fifty Shades of Grey. Sitting watching which shoppers made a beeline for the FSOG display was fascinating… 🙂 Apparently a lot of “non-readers” are buying it, Donna told me, quoting women who’d announced it was to be the first book they’d ever read. We agreed this was astonishing. Not only that it should be true, but that anyone would be prepared to admit it!

I rearranged the stock this morning….

And the winner is…

David Rankin receives a copy of Prime Time plus a Wannabe book of his choice…

If Clever Morgen was doing this there’d be thumbnails of covers and links and all sorts, but cos it’s just me and a glass of wine, that’s all you get… 🙂

Waterstones, Westwood Cross, in the morning from 11am signing books (in theory). If you happen to be passing please come and say hello

Thanks for all the visits to the blog today jxx

Prime Time paperback out 5th July

May 2012

Hello! I’m thrilled to announce that my latest novel, romantic comedy ‘Prime Time’, is now available for the Amazon Kindle and will be available in paperback from July 5th 2012. To celebrate, the lovely Morgen (with-an-e) Bailey is in the process of building this blog for me and will be filling it with book news and happenings until I eventually get the hang of doing it myself (probably circa 2014).  Do have a poke around if you have time, or come back another day to see what’s new. The idea is that something will be!

If you live anywhere near Thanet I’ll be signing copies of Prime Time in the Westwood Cross branch of Waterstone’s on 7th July from 11 am and will be popping up in places various all summer (see the Events page).

In the meantime, here’s the blurb…

Laura Meredith never imagined herself appearing on TV – she’s too old, too flabby, too downright hormonal, and much too busy holding things together for her son, Stanley, after husband, Daniel, left her for a younger, thinner replacement.

But best friend Charlotte is a determined woman and when Laura is persuaded on to a daytime show to talk about her PMT, everything changes. Suddenly there’s a camera crew tracking her every move and Laura finds herself an unlikely star. Wined, dined, and pampered, she begins to see the charms of a younger partner herself. But as things hot up between her and gorgeous TV director, Cal, they’re going downhill elsewhere. While Laura’s caught up in a heady whirlwind of beauty treatments, makeovers and glamorous film locations, Charlotte’s husband, Roger, is concealing a guilty secret. Stanley’s got problems at school, work’s piling up, and when Laura turns detective to protect Charlotte’s marriage, things go horribly wrong.

The champagne’s flowing as Laura’s prime time TV debut looks set to be a hit. But in every month, there’s a Day Ten…

Prime Time Goodreads Book Giveaway

Prime Time by Jane Wenham-Jones. Giveaway ends July 05, 2012. See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter to win

The heroine, Laura, lives in Broadstairs (the setting for my last novel too) – there’s a recent interview in The Isle of Thanet Gazette  here.

NB for those of you not up on your East Kent Geography – Thanet is that knobbly bit  at the bottom of the map, consisting of Broadstairs, Ramsgate and Margate as well as surrounding villages. I live there. 🙂

Update July 2012: The paperback version is now available here and the Kindle version here.